The topic of the what the future will bring with COVID has been on everyone's minds, particularly when will the return to 'normal' come? As Roy points out, 'normal' is not a desirable state to return to, as this forced quarantine gives a chance for a depth of reflection not usually possible with the pace of everyday life pre-pandemic. It becomes apparent that we have less control over our fate than we would like to believe. Nothing is for certain and everything is always changing. We have control over how we choose to approach life; in keeping a hopeful attitude, making ethical decisions and treating people with respect and dignity.
How can you remain peaceful amongst the ups and downs? You must learn to find inner stillness despite the ever changing landscape of life. Are you only happy when you are experiencing a good phase of life? Or can you remain at peace when you are in the midst of several challenges? What happens if you lose the identities you define yourself by through a career loss, change of relationship or health status or loss of an important title or business? There can be sadness if you judge yourself based on what your external life looks like rather than who you are as a person. We observe that people treat others differently as a result of their status at a given point of time. Nevertheless, it is a harsh reality to accept when you personally experience a status reversal and are treated differently for setbacks that you had little control over, that may have been unfair. At the same time, people are conditioned by media and society to treat people differentially according to factors that define material success. Much of this happens at an unconscious level, similar to discrimination based on sex, race, class, sexual orientation, age and disability. Inequities have become much sharper, with the gap growing rapidly between the haves and the have nots. Many people who never thought they could be have nots, suddenly find themselves in the vulnerable position of having to struggle for security in ways they could not have imagined possible. These experiences can build empathy or harden the heart. I would hope that for most people, that it creates an experiential understanding of the unpredictability of life, in that roles can always change. Therefore, to build an identity around something that can be taken away, is a recipe for anxiety and disillusionment. I believe the pandemic presents an opportunity to think about how we define success and how we relate to other people. First, are you judging your success and happiness on the degree to which you have mastered yourself as opposed to what your life looks like on the outside? Second, think about how we can bridge the barriers between us; to see how we can judge people not by external identities but by personality traits and the ways in which they approach the world with compassion. If we looked at ourselves and others in this way on a micro level, the world will change on a macro level, as we develop self-compassion and form relationships with a broader range of people. Demographics are not under our control and there needs to be a stronger effort to move beyond the ways in which our appearance and outer success influences who we spend time with. By expanding our minds and our hearts, more authentic friendships can blossom. In this way, we can imagine a new world, one that values inclusivity, diversity and equality. This is well worth fighting for.
6 Comments
Dave
8/27/2021 11:14:50 pm
Reframing challenges into lessons has helped me a lot. I did lose my family, after 20 years got a divorce and my business has barely kept up. But I am holding onto hope. Many friends don't treat me the same way because I no longer can afford the lifestyle we lived for what seems like forever. Life goes up and then it goes down and up again. You learn who you can trust. I am wiser and stronger.
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Samantha Samuels
8/29/2021 08:07:21 am
Sounds like you found a way to view this experience through an empowering lens. This is wonderful that you were able to find the strength to do this, not everyone does.
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Melissa Kramer
8/28/2021 09:07:19 pm
I completely agree about loss of friends when you lose your job. I learned who I could trust and who was just with me because I had certain things. I could never have guessed how quickly people could leave you high and dry. It is such a sad state of affairs but I guess I just need to be more careful next time.
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Samantha Samuels
8/29/2021 08:22:15 am
People are usually not even aware of the micro ways in which their attitudes and behaviours change when their friends or family experience a change of status. I believe that others may not know what you are thinking but they can sense an energy from you, if they are perceptive, which can reveal how you truly feel. I think when friends are in a vulnerable time, you have to make a conscious effort to focus on their strengths in your own mind, so that when you talk to them, you are able to highlight what is special about them, rather than focusing on the difficulty they are in.
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Rachel Lima
8/31/2021 10:51:04 pm
There is so much opportunity in COVID to come up with a new framework that can enhance equality. People have to be willing to share power and resources and let go of old ideas which allow them to turn a blind eye to those have faced unimaginable losses, to actually try to imagine what it would be like if it were them who had everything taken away overnight.
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Samantha Samuels
9/1/2021 08:11:25 am
There are many people who believe at some level that this won't happen to them, as long as they take certain efforts and are careful. The truth that this could happen to anyone is hard to accept, so people distance themselves from those who have lost a lot, thinking about the ways they are different from them.
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